24 October 2013

On being a stepmother

"Look down the road to her wedding...I'm fitting her veil and telling her she's the most beautiful bride...and she says, 'I wish my mom was here'."

"And my fear is that she won't. But she doesn't have to choose. She can have us both..."

Those quotes are from the movie "Stepmom" starring Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon. As a stepmother, even if you've been apart of their lives as long as they can remember, is not easy. A lot of people, naturally, think of the biological parents and their children, but not the difficulties of being a stepparent. Not all are like the step monsters in Cinderella. Not all treat their own biological children differently than their own. 

Even though stepparent's shows unconditional love and help raise the children sometimes it's not enough. Sometimes it is. My stepchildren have said that they do not want their biological mother to be apart of their lives. I've been forbidden to give any details on my blog about their lives, which are pretty exciting at the moment, and I'm DYING to share. Still, I'm not called Mom. One child lists me on their forms and tells people I am their mother. The other refers to me as stepmom and put their biological mother on their form. One stings a little but I know they love me and know I love them. A stepmother may never replace their biological mother, but all stepparent's pay an important part in their lives. A stepmother wants to be valued and respected as an equal to their biological parents. 

I have been a stepparent for 15+ years. I have spent hours crying, trying to win their love and respect, laughing, praying, and trying to show them a Godly woman. I'm not perfect but at my stepdaughter's wedding I know she will be happy I'm there. I hope her biological mom will be too. 

I am considering writing a ebook on being a stepparent. If you have anything helpful to contribute please leave a comment. 


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