23 April 2014

The Panic Sets In

This will be the rambling conversations listed in this Tumblr picture.

Change. I love change. I'm always up for an adventure. I'm so ready to move out to the country a bit. We've lived in an apartment in the middle of the hustle and bustle for 14 years. I'm over it. My oldest is in the Army. The middle child is looking for an apartment to move into with a friend. The youngest is still in high school. There's nothing keeping us in the city, so why not move out to the "country". So, I'm looking for rental houses and apartments out a bit.

I realized that next month marks the day that I will be exactly halfway between 35 and the big 4-0. Panic!! Have I lived my life? If you go by my grandmothers I would not be halfway through my life at 40, but really, who knows? I mean, don't you remember when 40 was old? I'm pretty proud of the fact that I only have 1 fine line on my forehead with no other wrinkles. I'd like to keep it that way. I'm considering purchasing my first wrinkle cream along with sunless tanner. I've always enjoyed having a tan, but not the sunburn that typically comes first to age my babyfied skin. Recommendations please!

Today I received an email from Target showcasing their bathing suits. Our pool opens in 1 month, ugh, but yay. So many emotions and I'm not even at that emotional time! I love to swim, and with my surgeries swimming will have to be my main form of exercise. I cannot wait to go swimming, but I can wait to put on a bathing suit. Yes, I've lost 50 pounds, but I was 80 pounds over weight. So, I have another 30 to lose. Will I look better than I would have if I was still 50 pounds heavier? Sure, but I'm still not there. I still have 30 more to go and I know that I won't look as good as I could if I were a few pounds less. Am I doing everything in my power to lose the weight? That's a negative. Sad, but true. I still eat pimento cheese, occasional pizza, and creamy dressings on my salad. I don't eat much, but what I do eat isn't usually very healthy. I'm not able to exercise except swim, but that requires said dreaded bathing suit, enjoying my roller coaster yet?

Now that I've run y'all off with my rambling, I just want to say that I'm blessed. Yes, blessed, and not just because of my smooth-as-a-baby's-butt skin, but because of everything I'm panicked about, there's nothing really wrong. Nothing some St. Tropez Tanner, Clinique Line Eraser, prayers for the children, and eating healthy won't cure.  I think I'll have some sweet tea and relax for a bit on the porch. 


  1. My mind has been on that same runaway train all week. I've found my self several times this week just stopping and thinking, I"m blessed! It's all gonna be okay!

  2. It will all be okay. Thanks for stopping by!


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